u just ate a kuih, which is made from tepung

ok kali ini aku nak berEMO sikit. ini pasal satu perempuan yg sudah kasi aku sakit hati. disebabkan terlalunya sakit hati aku telah menulis surat utk dia. dan disini aku terbitkan surat tersebut utk tatapan umum. huh!


dear ****,

nampak gayanya all my call u dah tak jawab....i dunno why, maybe u dah tak nak kawan ngan i..or maybe u dah boring ngan i...or maybe u dah puas main2 kan i? whatever it is....i'm so disapointed.

actualy....it is not only kecewa..but i'm also started to feel anger....half to u, and half to myself.

i dunno what ur thinking of me...a guy who relly u can fool around agaknye...but the weird thing is, i actually allow myself to be hurt by u. from the moment u did hurt me last time i tot i wont let it happened again...but then somehow i dare to take a risk to be hurt again...and now it is happening!

kalo girl lain i dah tak kisah langsung.....tapi dgn u i just let it be. since the last time we met is during the ***** *** concert (if u did remember). dah sebulan gamaknye i tak dgr khabar berita dr u.

sebenarnya i pun dah totally tak faham, apa yang sebenarnye berlaku sekarang ni...suddenly u avoiding me....oh, maybe u dah ada bfren baru?

this is not fair to me ****...TOTALLY NOT FAIR! kalo caring i yang berikan selama ni dekat u is no meaning, at least bagitau je la...."*** i dont want u to be my fren anymore!" kan senang? cakap bahasa melayu pun bole gak. tapi u tetiba je senyap ni tak jawab my call, sms pun tak...it just so confusing ****. CONFUSED!

u tau kan how i felt on u..how deep my love on u...how i dont care the world when i'm with u....ah,i tak kisah how cliche it is..yg penting thats how i felt on u ****.

i will always remember the first time i saw u....

i rasa kecewa, rasa marah, geram, benci, sayang, rindu....only on u. u r the only girl who could make feel all that at the same time....mcm sekarang ni lah. memang i tgh marah and benci sgt dgn u...but at the sme time i betul2 rindu kan u..rindu all the breakfast, lunches, evening tea, dinners, suppers, that we have last time. it is such a great time to spend a day with u.

tp sekarang u menyepi...apa yg i dah buat salah spai u dah tak jwb my call? or maybe takde salah apa2 pun cuma u nak bg sign dekat i jgn kacau u lg...

u tau tak ****...i'm a person who believe in love....kasih dan sayang. i tak percaya kemewahan dunia ni mampu give that thing...thats why i'm still looking forward to see u...to share my feeling with u....to share everything i could feel and get with u....to have somebody to talk to when i'm happy or down....to have somebody to share with the ideas of life or even in my architecture design...to share a proud moment...to share everythings la...but then....ahhhh,i'm so down now since u LEFT me after the ***** *** concert.

the worst thing is....the feeling of disapointment tu i felt on the 2nd day of new year!
how could u ****....

tak tergambar sebenarnye perasaaan i sekarang ni..kalo bole meletup dah lama meletup gamaknye..tp i sabar je...sebab i tot u tak tergamak nak wat mcm ni. tp tula...Tuhan jdkan manusia ni pelbagai ragam....meriah sedikit hidup ni....kalo suma baik je tak syok la pulak. maybe God created u in such a way, to came into my life in a blink...and dissapear in blink. but in between the space and time, i did have great moment ever in my life. U did give me such a great memories to be remember. GREAT MEMORIES and i really mean it.

i pun tak faham kekadng tu why i should felt this way. u bukan pun girlfren i...apatah lg nak dipanggil kekasih...tp tula kan...i ni tak hipokrit..i say what i felt..

****, maybe bila u baca ni u didnt feel anything. just seorang lg lelaki yg dok merapik...atau maybe u did feel something inside ur heart. i dunno,i bukan bole baca hati u....tp i believe at least something did move in ur heart.

one of my closest friend told me at mamak stall one night, "....sebelum ko berjalan lg jauh, toleh ke belakang sekejap kalo ko still percaya dia mmg sesuai utk jiwa ko........kita perlukan sesuatu utk percaya dlm hidup ni,teruskan percaya." and he really mean it.

and from that day on....i believe in myself that i need to believe in this feeling of mine...

sekian

***

hahahahaha mcm gampang!